Just after I got engaged, I popped into a local dressmakers shop to see what was on offer.
I wasn’t planning on trying anything on or even asking real questions – I just wanted to… see. I went by myself because I didn’t know if I wanted anyone else ooh-ing or ahh-ing over dresses… because I didn’t know if I’m even the kind of person who oohs and ahhs over dresses anyways. I’d been part of literally hundreds of weddings over the past decade, yet I felt completely uncertain about how planning my own wedding was going to feel.
In the end, there were surprises (of course), and there were confirmations of some of the opinions I’ve formed about weddings as a vendor. In no particular order, here’s what I would have wanted to know about planning a wedding. I hope something here resonates with you!
Six Things You Should Know About Planning A Wedding
The possibilities are endless.
Pro tip: The only thing you have to do (in Edmonton) is sign a marriage registry and have two witnesses do the same. That’s pretty much it. Everything else is optional.
I don’t know about you, but I think that reality is incredibly liberating! Want to get married in your favourite public park? Go for it. Rather eat pizza and donuts on your wedding day than a five course meal? Do it (and invite me, please). Feel more ‘yourself’ in a bright colour? Ditch the white dress.
Your wedding is about the commitment you’re making to your person, and nothing else. You do you, and I promise: it’s going to be awesome.
It’s not a competition
Every twenty-something has a year or two of their lives that feels like they’ve got so many wedding invitations coming in the mail that being a wedding guest has practically become a part-time job. While some friend groups take great pride in using the same vendors, and learning from others’ experiences, lots of couples end up feeling pressure that their wedding has to be even better than the last.
Even worse, elaborate displays at bridal shows and jaw-dropping photos on wedding blogs can leave you feeling like if you don’t have (insert current wedding trend here) your wedding isn’t good enough. Trying to compete with other weddings is just going to leave you stressed out, indecisive, and distracted from the things that really matter at a wedding. Besides…
It’s all been done before…
except… not with YOU. And that, my friends, is the most important thing. You could throw wedding at the same venue, with the same flowers, the same dress, and the same colours as someone else but at the end of the day, it’s you, your partner, and your love story that makes a wedding what it is. No one comes to a wedding to celebrate the flower arrangements. They’re there to celebrate YOU, and to be a part of this life-changing day because they love you. That’s it. And that’s a good thing.
It’s okay to be over it.
Wedding planning has a way of taking over all other aspects of life. So many couples (myself included) get to a point where you can’t wait to just be done with planning a wedding and be married already. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine.
The wedding is one (awesome, exciting, life-changing) day. Just one day. It’s okay to feel sick of your life revolving around one day. Keep your eyes on the other side – the everyday awesome of being married to your person!
On the other hand, YOMO.
You’re Only Married Once. My friends Aaron and Carolyn coined this phrase, and it’s perfect. Okay, maybe my husband and I used it to justify a few splurges, but there’s hardly anything wrong with that! This wedding this is only going to happen once, so enjoy it, let yourselves be excited and make the most of this special time in your lives. Whether that means relishing the attention from your family and friends, splashing out on something for the wedding, or taking your time to make wedding planning decisions… do it up large. Because YOMO.
The best part is after the wedding.
Being able to live every day in the reality that I’ve chosen my person, and he’s chosen me… that’s way better than any one-day party I could have ever planned.